Yesterday afternoon, I found this e-mail from a dear friend in my in-box. She too said her goodbye's to her daughter this week. She wrote this down as a way to give her girl to the Lord's capable hands for guidance and direction. The stuff that only HE can do when the parents trust in HIS ways. Enjoy and may it help someone else as it helped me.
Dear Beautiful G.G. (God-seeking Girlfriend),
My heartbeat accelerated and I realized I was holding my breath. My sunglasses were securely in place. Sticky perspiration matted the back of my blouse. “Where is she? Where is she?” kept running through my mind. I was slightly slouched in my Mommy White Minivan when suddenly – I SAW HER! “Oh thank you Lord!” She was safe and having an animated conversation with someone who looked relatively normal and sweet. Immediately, slouching lower in my seat, I muttered, “Don’t catch me, please don’t catch me.”
We had moved my oldest daughter into her dorm room the day before, and I was on my third drive-by at the University of Arkansas. “Oh Lord, please don’t let her catch me,” I begged. I really did have legitimate reasons to drive through the campus three times. No… Really…. Well, legitimate in my mind.
Faith and continuous prayer have been my most constant companions for a week and a half since my baby girl has moved out. That sickly ball of fear that plagued my stomach for the last month seems to be growing smaller. I haven’t cried today… yet. I know the job of parenting her is not finished, but it feels like I’ve been fired.
Then I realized. My faith is so small. I actually had to ‘see’ my baby to relieve my fearfulness. In Jeremiah God reminds us that He has a plan for our children and for us:
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
However; God asks us to have faith in Him without having to ‘see’ Him. Peter tells us:
“Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,” 1 Peter 1:8 NIV
Even though Peter was telling believers to have faith when they couldn’t see Jesus, Peter knew firsthand how difficult that could be. Remember when Jesus walked on the water and Peter said. If it’s really you, I want to walk on water too.
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Matthew 14:28-30 NIV
Peter could see Jesus, and yet His faith faltered.
This made me ponder:
- In what other areas of my life does my faith falter? Why?
- Do I have less faith when God’s plan doesn’t match up with “my” plan?
- List five ways in which God has been faithful.
So, the Bible tells us that God has a plan for us and for our children. It also says that if we will believe in Him even when we can’t see Him we can have glorious JOY! Right…Easy to say-harder to do, especially when you have just been fired from a job that you love (most of the time) and have been working diligently, persistently, and doggedly for the past 18 years. “Lord, when will I feel that glorious Joy?” and then He whispered to my spirit, “Have Faith”.
God has been faithful. I don’t know what He has in store my children. They are His. I just get to be the caretaker for a certain time period. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a bit of fun while I’m the caretaker. Do you think a different pair of sunglasses might work?
Have Faith Beautiful Ones.